Whenever Uncle Podger undertakes any domestic repair job, the peaceful home turns into a chaotic carnival. A framed picture arrives from the framer’s shop, waiting in the dining room to be mounted. Aunt Maria innocently asks what is to be done with it, to which Uncle Podger thunders: “Oh, you leave that to me, none of you worry yourselves about that. I’ll do all that!”
He removes his coat, rolls up his sleeves, and immediately dispatches everyone on frantic errands:
- The girl is sent out to buy sixpenny-worth of nails.
- Will is dispatched after her to tell her what size nails to get.
- Tom is commanded to bring the heavy step-ladder.
- Jim is ordered to fetch the kitchen chair.
- Someone else must fetch the hammer, the rule, the chalk line, and the cord.
As Uncle Podger lifts the picture, he drops it. The glass shatters to pieces. While trying to salvage the broken shards, he cuts his finger. He dashes frantically for his handkerchief, which is in the pocket of the coat he took off, but nobody knows where the coat is! Uncle Podger scolds all six household members for being lazy and incompetent until he realizes that he has been sitting on the coat the entire time!
By the time his cut is bandaged, new glass purchased, the hammer located, and the nail found in a dark corner, Uncle Podger loses the pencil mark on the wall. Each family member must climb on the chair to locate the mark, each guessing a different spot. Uncle Podger drives the nail in crookedly, smashes his thumb with the heavy hammer, drops the hammer onto somebody’s toes, and cracks a massive hole into the plaster. At midnight, after hours of yelling and sweat, the picture hangs crooked, insecure, and surrounded by destroyed wallpaper. Uncle Podger wipes his brow and declares with serene pride: “There! Some people would have had a man in to do a little thing like that!”